small victories

Small victories and small failures. Its not as chiche as you think. sometimes we make it and sometimes we fall. its really really gay if you think of it. but i did do well today. small salad (so small its 5 tiny shreds of lettuce and a small thing of tomato, in which i drank 2 bottles of water.) but..my dad bought pizza. one of my favorite foods. i take that back. USED TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS. i am making myself right sentences like
i will not eat
i will not eat
i will not eat
i will not eat
i will not eat
i will not eat

but i did well. ha ha u thought i tripped didn't u? no. i picked the cheese off the pie and ate half of the crust because it was whole wheat. and when i get home i will have to purge.purging has become painless. something i can just do like starving. it comes naturally. its so weird because i never thought of trying this before but it just feels so natural now. i am so proud. i haven't binged in a long time. i know i am fasting, but i mean that eating ice creme, cookies, popcorn and candy. yeah that's a binge. but purging is kind of just a thing that i can do without a second thought. like, drink,breath,sleep, purge, repeat the cycle. weird... yes i know its bad, but it helps. i only do it when i slip and eat. that's how its working so far and guess what? i like that plan because it has worked so far.
DAY 2 OF MNF
11 DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY