Just Peachy

Of course this happened. Why wouldn't it. Everytime i get my heart set on something, it never comes through. For example, today i was supposed to see that guy. Have i explained how cute this guy is. Well, he's fucking gorgeous. So it makes sense that he would cancel on me. Technically, he didn't cancel on me. The thing we were supposed to go to was cancelled, so he cancelled on me by telling me the plans got shot down. And to top it all off, he invited somebody else to come along with us. I didn't have the guts to ask if it was another girl, because i am afraid he would have just laughed and confirmed my suspicions. Why would a boy like that ever be intrested in a chubby, lonely, cutter who can't form a sentence without putting her foot in her mouth? A girl who eats like crazy, cusses like a sailor, drinks, smokes, and is a complete and utter bitch. How would that, me, ever appeal to a boy who has never even smelled a beer. To a boy who is smart, funny, charming, and can make anybody feel like they may actually mean something. That i may actually be worth a damn. But no, i suppose not. Might as well just get drunk, go for a walk, and see who i run into. Hell, if they're good looking and i'm not too sober, we may just have a good night. Despite how much i hate how that sounds, i can't help but think that i would actually do that. That it will actually come to that just so this absolute feeling of loneliness will finally go away. If even for a little while.