slow but steady wins the race

horses. my title doesn't have an secret motive. nope. horses. the horse that expects to go out there, start fast, are the ones that will end up last. the horses that go slower, eventually get to the finish line faster. OK so there is a metaphor in there. i try to be a motivation but i am not worthy of all the support and love i feel when i see people writing on my posts, saying that i am a good person, a good girl. and i can not get that kind of thinspiration from anywhere. all those thinspo vids with the pictures of the girls we all wish we were. the ones that are thin, their thighs don't jiggle, they can fit into ANYTHING they want. you know whats funny? those pictures can be photoshoped, but you ladies are REAL people. and i have contact with REAL GIRLS who feel my pain and my struggles. for that i thank you.

did i tell you i used to play the guitar. oh yea i was a Lil hick chick. and i am reverting back. not the bad teeth kind of hick.no i have the cowgirl hat and boots, long retired. my guitar got dusty and stopped playing. the music went out of me when the divorce started. the music and creativity went straight out of me. when i played, i wasn't playing a tune, i was improv. i was playing with heart and soul. i am going to start again. hell, maybe if you come up here, you'll see a little girl with a wicker hat and black jeans, strumming away. i starting getting my life again. i can write again. i have written more poems, started painting more. drawing more. singing isn't my bag. but i am not going to be country. its funny. i don't want to be. i am a very individual girl. i mean, i wear dime store rejects for clothes. their nice, decent clothes. i only buy myself those aeropostle clothes for a reward. GUESS WHAT!!!! my crush asked 4 my number! i forgot to mention it. but yeah. i am going to get a new phone, Verizon's ENV3. its on amazon.com for about 0.01. and its ten bucks for my mom to add me to her family plan. i really wanna talk to him. i like more than one guy you know? that's sad isn't it?

here's a list.

1. Austin Hensley- he makes me laugh, he is my #1 pick cause he is cute, not hot, which is good for me cause then there isn't that much competition. he is sweet, and creative. i like a guy that's not to serious, but you know, energetic. happy. ready to go and DO something. bowling,baseball, movie night.


2. Sam Mcneely- smart. brainy. not cute though.


3. Brian .- liked him for three years, and he treated me like shit, so he can ROT in hell. but the thing is, i don't care if he doesn't want me because he is happy. if hes happy that's all i can ask for. i just want him to be happy. and that's what love is

BUT AUSTIN WANTS MY #!!!

soooo sooooooooooooo sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy. i lost my phone on the school bus. and it has not been returned. it blows.

my friends want me to join the talent show. as i said, all my talent (and now that i think of it, my thin-ness) went down the drain with the divorce. my mom is city apparently. paints her nails blue, like me. listens to Three Days Grace, like me. and wants to get her nose pierced, like me. i have a Piss Off Jeff list.

1. Blue hair streaks, rosebud red tips, and orange in my bangs. i am a radical random chick.


2. lose weight. weight is important to me, and i think my dad wouldn't appreciate it if i was thin, but I'm not doing it for spite.


3. learn guitar again. he is cool with teaching me, but he wants me to learn songs like, Neon Moon. i am learning, Bullet for My Valentine. see? total differences

PEACE

LOVE

BEAUTY

IS

PAIN