grape soda and great memories

i hate it when someone you think knows you, totally screws everything up.
i hate it when a guy wears a pink scarf.
i hate it when people make you eat.
I didn't eat breakfast, but because my grandpa was here i had to eat a huge lunch. but i purged. about three times. and right now my stomach is growling. yay! the great memories came when Jerrick and i were chatting about the last day we saw each other. we both laughed as remembered how we pranked my science teacher by locking her out of the room. you know who is a great thinspo? Zooey Desuel, deshel, whatever. the girl from Yes Man. yeah. she also played the music teacher in Bridge to Teribithia. i am going to update my thinspo tab. i hope some of you girls actually look at it. but anyway. i keep undating my blog over the summer. i am hoping i can skip dinner tonight but i am used to eating and going to bed crying. I WILL SKIP. because if my dad asks, i am still full from the BBQ and if my mom asks, i had a big dinner at Jeffs. I love Lying. you know, i wish i could let my family read my blog, but it would be wholly inappropriate. i am so much more cautious, being careful to not even mention the word "weight" around my family. and Dad, Grandad and Alison didnt catch on today.. my constantly going to the bathroom to purge. I both love and hate this secret. i have had time to get my brother to stop watching me, but its still here. i was always cautious with my food during these weeks, but i didn't purge. or fast. and its already.. lets see.. three days into my summer vacation. AND NO SIGNIFIGANT LOSS. i am running out of time. time for me to really get going with the fasting. so, i will not eat again today. or breakfast, or lunch, or dinner. i am not going to set a schedule for fasting, i am just going to go for as long as i can. i need to try and be at least under 130 by the end of june. Ladies, i miss you, i love you all. you guys are my biggest inspiration, to keep my life runnin as normaly but maintaining the core of it. my life has already been consumed, and i cant stop. i am going to get a pool pass and keep swimming over the summer, you burn SO MANY CALORIES!!!
starting tomorrow i will keep a calorie count.