141

141. in pj clothes.
fake response:wow. 141? really?
my real response: SUMMER IS ALMOST ALL THE FUCKING WAY OVER AND I HAVE ONLY LOST TWO MEASLY FUCKING POUNDS?! GODDAMN IT!

so much for being thin and beautiful. my brother gave me a puff of his cigarette because i just got back from jeffs and my nerves are shot. right now i am just typing away on my laptop, looking up ways to cleanse my body. i heard about this  Salt water cleanse from lemons, but i dont have salt water. i need to be under 140 soon. i need it. i really do. if i am not, i think i am gonna die of sadness. this is the sadest time ive had on my expidition for thin. thin isnt just a thing you can acheive. its like the holy grail of goals. to me, it has more worth than gold, diamonds, and any earthly wishes. if a genie came to me and told me id get three wishes, they would be,
1. i want to be loved by those i love. such as austin. and my family
2. i want my father to leave me alone
3. i want to be 110 pounds and nobody care how much weight i lose
TELL ME ANY QUICK TRICKS GIRLS PLEASE!
i need this. i can never be happy. and i can cross off two items on my list. the one about self confidence and the one about being under 125 lbs. nobody here really gives a damn if i starve myself into an early grave. i mean really? no. dont even pretend like you do. i am all alone here in this SHITHOLE of a small town. im sick and im scared too. i live out here in the fuckin boondocks. my house is on the corner of Bumfuck and Yougottapurdymouth. when i am thin, i can find a boy who can take me away from here. i can go to a college in the city. and i make more money than i could have ever dreamed. with all that money, theres one thing i will never buy. food. never again. except when i have visitors. then once they leave i will throw it all out and fast. i am really proud of myself. 2 lbs in five days. i have been surviving off of granola bars. and i purged up every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
have you noticed you never have money when you need it?
i heard that every time you laugh, you burn three calories. if thats true, then i need money, buy weed. when your high and you start laughing, two things happen.
1 you ge higher and start wigging out.
2. you cant stop laughing.
i have been freezing myself too. the colder you are, the more calories you burn to stay warm. so ive been lounging in shorts and a tee shirt for the past five days up at the cabin because the air conditioner up there is like, ARTIC!