thank god for my self control

       
     i just cant see why her parents cant butt out of my life and focus on their own! her mom MADE MY PLATE with CHEESE EGGS! i was about to cry!luckely they wernt looking when i gave them to the dogs. her dad kept on asking me if i wanted pancakes. i was about to yell the number of calories in a pancake that size!(320 btw!). and her mom asked me what i had for lunch that friday (six saltine crackers and a liter of water). i was about to say fried chicken but when i did she gave me the "are you sick?" look. not sick like throwing up, but sick as like, mental. and i am. ocd and bipolar. While i was there, Kaitlyn bragged about how she got taller. and she picked on me for being short. a lot. i wanted to scream at her and call her a stupid faker who can shut the fuck up with all the mean commetns because, i am not really short! she's a freak! at like, 5'10 in the eighth grade? really? and guess what she called me? Smug. Smug? SMUG?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? she called me that after she told me she was 160 and i said 143. but i said it in a depressed voice. i told her she watches to many Harry Potter movies because she is actaully starting to speak in a british accent!
(but i can see why. the guy who plays Draco (Tom Felton.) is really hot.)

Sorry, any cute guy is kind of like my personal weakness. i could stare at that guy forever. even though he is actually brunett anf had to dye his hair to play this retarded evil wizard. ANYWAY THE MAIN POINT IS GONNA BE THAT:

to be delicate and beautiful you must be thin. but the thing is, tall is scary! you hit your head on ceilings, and no guy wants to date a freaky 6'7' girl. or a 150 lb girl. at least 110 is acceptable. no more that 110.

Also today:
.Kaitlyn texted Austin. they talk a lot. a little to much for me to feel comfortable near him cause i feel like he is tighter with Katie than we could ever really be.





P.S>> The dumbest book in the world is Redefining Beautiful. it's just this pastor's daughter going on and on about fathers. like,
"If you dont have a dad that tells you he loves you or that you're beautiful, remember that your other father (god) is there for you."
then they had this really stupid fuckin quiz and one of the questions were, "Does your father ever disapoint you"
Gee, what about that one time. for about THIRTEEN FUCKIN YEARS! that man is nothing more than disapontment. yet i say nothing and just sit there forever. bored. and alone.
i am rambleing, but i have a lot to say! if your still reading this, than you are AWESOME. so lets recap

.dumbass parents asking me how much i eat a day
. a dumbass book.
. a dumbass boy
. a fucked up, twisted, sick man (whi i am pretty sure is SATAN!) whom i have to claim as my father.
. and having the fact that Austin and i will never be together shoved in my face again.
i know i said i didnt like him, but i mean really? i cant get over guys that fast.

AND REMEMBER!
John Mayer sucks without having a DJ fixing his voice all the time.