i am a pig. a twelve yeaar old 158 pound pig. i am ugly. i should die. even my real name is ugly. sierra. its ugly. an ugly name for an ugly person. A HUNDRED AND FIFTY-EIGHT POUNDS! thats right, my dads scale is 5 lbs off. i blew it today. i am a failure. i should never eat again. i should starve to death. i feel like a walking pile of grease! i feel like there is a skinny girl trying to get out of me and i am killing her wih every calorie. a beautiful graceful girl who deserves a chance to live! who am i to deny her the right to life? i am not god, i cant do that she needs to be given a glimmer of hope. she needs me. she needs me to help her. i am a fat girl, nobody would care if i were to free her. to free the beautiful, amazing girl inside of me. nobody would care if i crawl under a rock somewhere and just die.. no more 700 calorie shit. no. 500, then 400 then 300 and then a ten day fast. i will free her with every movement of my soon to be lovely body. my beautiful skin will glow along with my beautiful, glorious figure. Everyone will beg for my company. my body will be toned and perfect. and no more throwing up. beauty includes pretty teeth and hair. and that would kill it. kill her. i have learned so many things from Don't Eat Lemons. but i need more help. her writings have helped me, but i need to go farther and farther and reach the farthest i can go.
Sierra is DEAD
but what is the lovely girls name..
Jackie
Jackie means to replace... to replace imperfection? yes. Jackie is perfect. and Ana is her best friend.
I feel the extact way as you. I have a thin girl trapped inside of my fat ugly body, but I'm killing myself trying to get her out.
ReplyDeleteI am happy that my writing actually helps you. You help me too because you are so much like me.
(And Sierra is a pretty name! My name is ugly. Don't tell anyone, but my real name is Nakia. Its Egyptian meaning pure. That's the wrong word to describe me. :/)