storm

well, there is a thunderstorm going on outside of alisons house. no not the cabin. i am in maryland right now, my orange cat at my side and some dumb country song on. im going to turn it down, but i think that would be mean to alison. im not mean, am i? my stomach hurts. its day one of the fast and the only thing i have had is a sobe life water (zero calories). my dad is trying to get me to eat pizza. its greek pizza. lets break that down.
 it was made in a resturant... which means added grease, plus, i hate resuratnts.
1.how do i know that they wash their hands when they prepare my food?



2. they always say its healthy, but its all covered in butter.

3. they slaughter animals to earn a quick buck.

4. if they are low quality, its full of calories. if its high quality, it has rich foods, so it has higher calories
number four is why i am so scared of that pizza. greek cheese is usually ridden with calories.

5. the only diet drink are..diet pepsi (tastes like ass) and water.
i havnt blogged a full post for a while have i? the last was explaining about the new group fast (JOIN!) and that was all you heard. well, i hardly remember blogging that for reasons you can guess. i smoked again. i have been trying to quit but i honestly dont want to. i love it too much. definatly now too. being out of state for a week? fuck yea i smoked some. i decided that i am if i was going to deal with being away from my home for a week, i needed something to start it off in a good mood you know?
  
     my dad said something that really made me think how fat i was. we were in the store and he was telling me he likes coke zero over diet coke. both are no calorie i think, but he said he thought i should drink coke zero instead of other soda. i was like, "why?" and he had enough nerve to say "it will help you maintain your girlish figure." I DONT HAVE A GIRLISH FIGURE! I AM FAT AND UGLY! i will fast today. i think that the storm will make it hard for dad to take us to dinner. tomorrow if we dont have anything planned, i will fake sick. and this entire week, if i cant fast that day, i will still restrict. i mean, the longest fast i did was one and a half days. i am week, and spinless. but it gets easier to resist. i can turn down food. i honestly dont need it.
     i do know what i need. on my laptop, it says 2:11. (time to smoke some at my house) but my laptop is two hours behind. so its almost 4:20. 4/20 is the supposed birthday of bud (weed) so right now i would be fucked up and celibrating that birthday. i am getting invited to smoke more, seeing as i have gotten over the "THAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" stage. here are the stages i am supposed to go through.
1. the first few times are pure bliss. happiness and glee galore.
2. still getting the giggle fits
3. paranoid
4. chill
i am like a combination of all four. last night i was totally cool though. i know you dont want to know this, but i am a purist and believe in blogging it all. such as the whole coke zero thing. Well, i think i gotta go. time to update the blog again.