some thinspo for you ladies

i was watching some thinspo on youtube (amazing!!) and this one thing popped up, and i was bored so stupid me, i clicked it. it turns out it was a dr. phil on a girl named aimee who was 28, a binge eater (15 THOUSAND CALORIES) was anorexic AND bulimic (cant say much on that topic without being a hypocrite) but she weighed sixty pounds. she was sickly thin. and thats the problem. i am not going for SICK i am going for thin. graceful, healthier, happier. but i watched the entire thing and i fell asleep, hence not having any kind of smaller post last night. so i guess i have to give you my weight, plans, and tips. i am also going to enclude some colorful thinspo. So.. i weigh 132.6. i gained two ounces, which really isn't too bad i guess, seeing as how i havn't had a normal diet in about three months. my dad is wanting to teach me to fish, but i think i am going to fake sickness today. i bet i can. but yet again, i have on my makeup and look almost healthy. Jeff thinks that i am losing a lot of weight. i told him its all through watching what i eat. and it is. i cut out soda, candy, sugars, breads, pastas, meats, any kind of doughnut or pastry is immediatly thrown out. i refuse to gain any more weight.i have like, 15 days to lose seven pounds. i can do this. i dropped from a 143 to a 135 in one day! so i am going to act really sick today and milk it, so all i can have is water and crackers, but seeing as my dad doesnt have any crackers.. i guess i have to stick to water.

 AND NOW FOR THE COLORFUL THINSPO!

and thats some thinspo i have collected. i want to update my thinspo tab but i cant ever seem to remember it! its like, when i first started, i saw my friends as beautiful people, but now.. i seem them as pudgy. chubby. and thats wrong. but i feel like at least i am doing something about this. i had a friend named halley who told me she was skipping meals, and yes, she is larger than me, but i told her not to. the last time she came over, the only thing i had to eat was a small bowl of the mac an cheese i made her for dinner. i was trying to fast, but i have learned that its not all about FASTING its more about RESTRICTING. and some exercise. its about going as long as you can, then, if you must, eat as little as you can. i have to eat dinner every night except for wednesday and thurday. sometimes friday. those are the days that my mom is off work, but every other night untill 7 or 8 o'clock, i am with my dad. stupid court case. i have talked a lot tonight, but i decided to keep writing, and its mostly just the thinspo pics making this post longer. so, 15 days till eigth grade starts. YAY! *sarcasam*. everyone in my school is fake, except for some friends. i am not a faker. i am who i am, and they can all go fuck themselves if they dont like it cause i dont give a fuck about them. well, not all of them. i want to do a few things this year.

1. make some cooler friends.- yes, i want to make some better friends who dont think weed is evil

2. get down to 125

3. hurt my old crushes feelings.

yes, the third one is mean, but hey, two years of liking this guy, and he is the reason i wanted to lose weight in the first place, and so, if the jackass ever reads this, thank you for helping me find what i needed all along.  every girl here is my inspiration, but he was the determination part of this. he was the one who made me say "FUCK IT. i am going to drop five pounds." amd so the five wentdown to ten, to fifteen, to twentym and i am so close to reaching my first total goal weight. after a week for a "weight test drive" i am going to decide if i want to lose more, and go down to 120, 115, then 110.

note: i am getting a new email and i am changing my user name because my friends know my youtube account (same dumbass name). ps, for those who emailed and asked, my name isnt oceaneyes because my eyes are blue, (they are a really cool green) but because of my favorite techno/pop/alternative (what ever you want to call it) band, Owl City. 

love you all! i gotta go now!