Thursday, August 11, 2011

he doesnt know how badly hes hurt me


he will never know how badly it hurts to feel like i will never be able to make him better. he will never know about my cutting or my purging. but i feel so FAT compared to his ex. i just want to die right now. he will never be able to love me, but i just want him to be happy. i want to break up with him, but i want to be with him. i want to lose weigh 110 pounds, and be absolutly perfect. then maybe he'll notice that the person who actually gives a fuck about him is right in front of his face.

highschools starting soon.
i'm afraid
because i am that chubby freshman
uncomfortable in her own skin
wishing she could just fade and disapear
and float away to where she might actually be happy..
the girl who went to orientation today without her coverup and had her scars on display for everyone to see. for everyone to notice how torn up she is inside
but i will never be able to tell him that
because then i will have to tell him that that big scar
the one that isnt even fully healed
the one that is going to be there for a long time
is from him
bmi= 22.6
Wrote by somewhere near

2 comments:

  1. FlyAugust 12, 2011 at 3:26 AM

    Thank you so much for your lovely comment.
    It really made my day and made me smile.
    It's so amazing to hear that someone actually likes my blog.
    THANK YOU.

    And you... you wonderful, pretty, amazing girl, you gotta know that you will always be wonderful, no matter what your weight is.
    You will be beautiful to the ones who really love and care about you.
    And to the ones who tell you you're NOT beautiful...they're a just not nice and they don't deserve a person like you!
    But I know, that I am not better, in no way, like loosing weight, cutting and all this stuff.

    But we gotta keep strong, we gotta keep fighting.
    And I am always here for you, even though we don't even know each other.
    Your blog is so amazing, your texts are really going down to my heart and you have to know, that you're not alone.
    Always message me if you feel like you wanna talk.
    I am here....

    ReplyDelete
  2. SarahAugust 12, 2011 at 3:38 AM

    This has just left me speechless. You are such a beautiful girl - I know that because of the gorgeous comment you gave me. If only you could see yourself how others see you. If you take nothing from this comment, remember this:
    You are worthy.

    ReplyDelete

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