Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Somebody asked me today if i was still "emo". I said no, because first off, i HATE the term "emo". "Emo" is short for emotive rock, a genre of music that caused this whole "emo" wave in the youth you see today. Emo is a culture for teenagers and young adults. I'll admit, yes, i have the emo bangs and dress in black, but i say no because i consider myself gothic. The hell i go through is called being a Cutter. Or a self harmer. The other reason i said no was because i know what would happen if i said otherwise.

After lunch,the same person, a close friend of mine, pulled my sleeve up all the way up to my shoulders (turned a tee into a tank that motherfucker) and saw all THOSE scars. i don't cut on my forearms. Upper arms=hides better. He saw the scars and asked if i'd thought about suicide recently, and i kept saying no, and he walked off. I rushed into the elevator and crumpled onto the floor. Yeah, who gives a fuck if i was late. I still passed with a perfect score.

I fucking hate my friends.
I fucking hate myself about having to lie about wanting to die.
I fucking hate high school.

No question today. Screw trying to get better. What the hell will that do for me?